Week 15 Play Off Bracket

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2011 DRAFT GRADES

2011 DRAFT GRADING

By Billy Blitz

Greetings NERF Leaguers! Billy Blitz here back for another season of the NERF league. As I have stated before, I am an equal opportunity offender so if I leave you out…don’t worry I’ll get ya next time!

The draft grades are in…and I am here to report them. Now, to explain a bit about how draft grades work…our crazy calculation spreadsheet determines based off of the CBS Sports Scoring Projections how successful your team should be throughout the season. Enjoy!

TEAM: the Franchise - COACH: Randy Martin
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: A+
Believe it or not folks, Coach Martin clinched spot numero uno in the draft grades and he wasn’t even in the country! Coach Martin did an excellent job of picking a backup draft person for him, because his team sure does look solid this year. With keepers like Jones-Drew & Peterson how can he go wrong? Although, I do have to say that his 3rd round draft pick…Darren McFadden, quite disappointing coach.

TEAM: BroncosSUCK - COACH: Randy Stwalley
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: A
Well look at this newbie to the league, comin’ out with the big guns picking up Ray Rice & Tom Brady. Coach Stwalley seems to be a veteran coach; he’s just new to this league. Let’s show him how it’s done in the NERF League. I think he’s the only one in the league to EVER draft two defenses. Psssh let us know how THAT works out for you *chump*. And for the record, he is the biggest Bronco’s fan you can find…has a full back tattoo of their logo.

TEAM: Raven Lunatics - COACH: Jennifer Faulkner
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: A -
Holy crap this woman is consistent. Who lets her draft all of these key players…I fully blame the person before and after her. She has got a solid squad this year. One question, do you think that picking up your favorite teams defense in the 7th round was a good idea? This love affair with the Patriots should probably stop…and for that matter, Tony Gonzalez, again? Really Coach Faulkner?

TEAM: BallsDeep - COACH: Jim Hayes
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: B+
Coach Hayes…what can we say about Coach Hayes. Picking up your QB in the 9th round…that’s kind of risky don’t you think? This Coach has always been a heavy hitter in the league, so let’s see how this year plays out for him. Keeping Foster & Johnson may be his saving grace. This Coach definitely knows how to make a decision, all of his draft picks were done in less than 40 seconds…will this quick draw be his nemesis? Only the season shall show us.

TEAM: VEGAS - COACH: Jason Bowen
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: B
Coach Bowen, live from Texas…the state that is obsessed with Football. Will taking up residency in such a place help this Coach out? Let’s see this Coach dropped his entire squad and started fresh. Came out with a first pick of Jamal Charles—go figure, he’s from Texas, coincident, I think not! Also, what’s with drafting two Tight Ends and NO defense, you know that you need a defense, right Coach Bowen?

TEAM: BrockVegas Boxers - COACH: Marc Cappiello
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: B-
Coach Cappiello or ‘Capp’ did a decent job this year. Keeping a RB & WR then picking up a QB in round 3. Romo & Cassel…interesting combo, hope one of them does well for ya. This team seems to be a bit heavy on the Wide Receiver side…guess you are putting a lot of hope into having a decent QB this year. Other than that…I got nothing. Except that Romo is a Homo.

TEAM: Low - COACH: Troy Low
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: C+
Coach Low…seriously, you need to make decisions man. You took the LONGEST in the league to make decisions and you were out of the league, then back in. Come ON man! I will give you props for picking up Rogers as Round 1 draft pick. In years past you’ve had crappy QB’s so let’s hope this decision works out for you. Oh and by the way, your team name sucks!

TEAM: Busta Hymen - COACH: Seth Fraser
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: C
Keeping two running backs Coach Fraser, interesting strategy…doubt it works for you. We have been meaning to speak with you about this; you really need to lay off the Running Backs. Some OTHER people may want them and you can only play 3 at a time. Just Sayin’. Good luck with the Brandon’s, let’s hope they don’t get arrested this year.

TEAM: Nedrecks - COACH: Mike Burbach
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: C-
Solid first three draft picks for a newbie to the league…then you just went downhill. Considering this coach is from Nebraska, I guess we shouldn’t expect too much from him. Good thing you picked up Helu—whoever the f*ck that is.

TEAM: Tazym - COACH: Scott Busnach
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: D+
Coach Busnach or ‘Bushy’ what were you thinking. A rough draft for you this year. You’ve got about 3 solid players, that’s it. Everyone else…I am pretty sure they are still trying to figure out what your Team Name means. Best of luck this year Bushy…let’s hope your wife Coach Faulkner doesn’t show you up…again.

TEAM: Porn Stars - COACH: Nate Cameron
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: D
OK, I will give this Coach a break since he just got married. OK who am I kidding; I don’t give a crap about him being ‘in love’ this is football. Get your head out of the clouds and come back to earth Coach Cameron. Drafting the Steelers defense in the 4th round… REALLY!?! WTF are you thinking? Then at the end of your draft you go for the pot head Williams. Good luck motivating him to get up off his ass and run the ball. Shew, I’m predicting that this coach won’t even get into the Looser bowl.

TEAM: Bling Bling - COACH: Stephanie Christopherson
FINAL DRAFT GRADE: D-
Wow…what can I say? At least the draft went smoothly this year. We didn’t have to stop and start a billion times. Coach Christopherson, you need to let go. Peyton has not done well for you in a while, when will you learn. There are OTHER QB’s out there--I promise. And changing the team name to Bling Bling? Not fitting AT all, there is nothing Bling about this team. Oy veh, who let this girl into the league!

Alright all, there you have it…the fandangled way of scoring the draft. Don’t forget that the season starts on THURSDAY, September 8th! You must have your line up set 5 minutes before game time.

PLEASE NOTE: All of this is in good fun; if you offend easily…you may need to prepare yourself. I NEVER claimed to be nice. Also let me know if you’d be interested in writing articles through out the season.

Good luck to all!

~Billy Blitz

Keepers have been processed

Alright folks, our keepers have been processed.

Here are the results..

Good luck and we'll see you on August 27, 2011! Whoop Whoop!

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