Let’s meet our coaches

Hi all…Billy Blitz here and it’s that time of year that we learn about our fellow coaches.
First, and foremost here’s a bit about your Commissioner & Co-Commish:

COMMISSIONER--
COACH NAME: Stephanie ‘Commish’ Christopherson (we think this is the last name she's going by this month)
TEAM NAME: V-Dubs
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: She owns this bitch
INTERESTING FACT: This Alpha dog has an obsession with Peyton Manning. And beware boys, this one will chew you up and spit you out without blinking an eye...just ask her two ex-husbands.

CO-COMMISSIONER--
COACH NAME: Troy ‘T-ROY’ Low
TEAM NAME: the BUGEATERS
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 5
INTERESTING FACT: He’s a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan…don’t worry, I forgive him too. Let’s hope this coach doesn’t get distracted by the cheerleaders again this year. Ooh shiny!

VETERANS--
COACH NAME: Randy ‘Powder’ Martin
TEAM NAME: the Franchise
LOCATION: Wisconsin – apparently that’s a real place?!?!
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 5
INTERESTING FACT: He likes to sass back to the commish and he ‘thinks’ that he gets special privileges because he knows the co-commish. Little does he know, that only counts against him. And oh ya, he won the league last year…let’s make sure this doesn’t happen again.

COACH NAME: Jason ‘Vegas’ Bowen
TEAM NAME: VEGAS
LOCATION: Texas
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 5
INTERESTING FACT: We are not sure why he keeps calling himself Vegas when he is now living in Pow-dunk Tex-ASS. Dude, you need to let go…you’ve downgraded to TX, no more Vegas show girls for you. Oh ya, and he’s related to the commish…so you can immediately feel sorry for him.

COACH NAME: Jim ‘Jimmy’ Hayes
TEAM NAME: BallsDeep
LOCATION: Oklahoma
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 4
INTERESTING FACT: Let’s see, this coach moved from Colorado to Oklahoma. He is now fully equipped with 5 cars on cinderblocks in his front yard and his old lady has started a toilet planter business. We’ll see if he can pull himself away from huntin’ long enough to play some football this season.

COACH NAME: Jennifer ‘The Sphinx’ Faulkner
TEAM NAME: Raven Lunatics
LOCATION: Massachusetts
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 4
INTERESTING FACT: Last season she had the longest stint of being undefeated…what will she do this year. I’m telling ya folks, she may be little…but she’ll beat you down! This girl has many tricks up her sleeve, never take your eyes off this one!

COACH NAME: Seth ‘Kevin Bacon’ Fraser
TEAM NAME: Busta Hymen
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 2
INTERESTING FACT: This coach is always too busy playing six degrees of Kevin Bacon, he tries to figure out how close he is to getting laid since he can’t seem to do it on his own, and he has to live vicariously through his players. And apparently he taught Carlton how to do the “Carlton Dance”.

COACH NAME: Michael ‘BFG – Big Fucking Guy’ Griffieth
TEAM NAME: Grid Iron Griffs
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 2
INTERESTING FACT: Apparently last year, BFG was too focused on food during the draft and that is why his team was only able to clinch the title of LOSER bowl for the season. This season, he’s going for the ‘All Runningbacks’ theme, let’s see how that works out for him.

COACH NAME: Brian ‘Mick’ Everitt
TEAM NAME: The Drunken Micks
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 2
INTERESTING FACT: First off, we think he's pissed off because he's a ginger, and most of the time we just randomly keep finding this coach drunk and talking smack in the bar. He’s not really sure who is on his team, but he wanders around singing something about 99 bottles of beer…

COACH NAME: Scott ‘Bushey’ Busnach
TEAM NAME: Tazym
LOCATION: Massachusetts
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: 2
INTERESTING FACT: Alright, yes we know…we get it, you like the Pats. But really the Dali Llama is a Pat’s fan, we think not. And would you please control your woman, we do not like her dominating the league like she did last year.

ROOKIES --
COACH NAME: Marc ‘Cap’ Cappielo
TEAM NAME: BrockVegas
LOCATION: Massachusetts
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: Year 1
INTERESTING FACT: Apparently this coach thinks it’s cool to be from Brockton, Massachusetts…little does he know that us Mid-West folks have NO idea what that means. So fugettaboutit, you wouldn’t understand.

COACH NAME: Nate 'WRX' Cameron
TEAM NAME: PornStars
LOCATION: Colorado
YEARS IN THE LEAGUE: Year 1
YEARS COACHING: Oh boy…what can we say about Nate. He aspiring to be a porn star but never really made it that far, so instead he nerds it up modifying cars and pretending he’s a good fantasy coach.

Give a warm welcome to our Rookies and all you veterans can kiss my ass.

~Billy Blitz OUT!

NERF LEAGUE: Rule changes for 2010

Hi folks…
The public has spoken, and we are dropping the points for Independent Punt & Kick return yards. So, I repeat – YOU WILL NOT GET ANY POINTS FOR PUNT OR KICK YARDS RETURNED.
So make sure you adjust your draft accordingly. Below is the link to the new rules for 2010.
http://bit.ly/2010NERFLeagueRules
Let me know if you have any questions.

~Commish

2010 Draft Date Set!

Survey results are in and our draft date (and order) has been set. Please mark your calendars…



DRAFT DAY:
Saturday, August 28, 2008 – 2:00 PM Mountain Standard Time

DRAFT ORDER:
1. Christopherson
2. Griffeth
3. Low
4. Bowen
5. Everitt
6. Faulkner
7. Martin
8. Mandall
9. Busnach
10. Hayes
11. Fraser
12. Cappiello

Just a reminder, the quicker you pay your dues, the quicker you get access to the site to prepare for draft day.